Recently I met with a client that asked me, “How do I eliminate drama in my life?” She further explained a few situations she found herself in where she felt she actually was attracting the drama. This was my response…
“Don’t feed it.”
Of course she had a puzzled look on her face perhaps like the one you have now. Whatever we feed will grow. If you want a plant to grow you give it water and fertilizer. If you want your business to grow you feed it time and money. If you want your marriage to grow you feed it love and a whole bunch of patience. Ha… Ha…
When we feed something we are giving it attention and focus. This is what helps it grow.
So if you don’t want something to grow then don’t feed it. Makes sense right? Well that can be easier said than done. It is natural for us to want to tell somebody about something bad that happened to us. And that is okay as long as we keep it in perspective. We all benefit from the support of those who care about us but when we excessively talk about our problems we are feeding them; giving them attention and making them grow bigger than what they already are. I understand this concept because I have caught myself many times feeding things that I did not want to grow.
Let’s say you have an argument with a coworker. You go and talk to another coworker about what happened and then you call a friend on the way home and tell her what happened. The more you think about it the more upset you become because you are giving it attention and focus and it continues to grow. You then have a greater chance of staying upset and letting it affect the rest of your day. This does not help us if we are trying to eliminate drama in our life. I think you get the picture.
So how can you eliminate drama?
It helps to know your trigger; the point right before you are about to “feed” something. This will be different for every one of us. When I asked my client what her trigger was she expressed how she felt a burning inside and emotions that did not feel good. It was after her trigger where she began to focus on her negative emotions and then she released them on the people around her. You can imagine what happened next.
Once you learn to recognize your trigger you can then make a choice and ask yourself what kind of outcome you want. You may even ask yourself if it is worth your time and energy. It then becomes a matter of changing your focus and changing your thoughts. How can you occupy your mind and distract yourself from the negative person or situation? This of course will be unique to you and your situation.
My client and I discussed a variety of practical options and she decided on the one that resonated with her. She now has another “tool” in her tool belt. It may take some practice but with all things the more we do them the more a habit they become.
I encourage you to find your trigger and what you can do to change your focus and occupy your mind to distract yourself from negativity. I promise if you do this, you will eliminate a lot of drama in your life.
If you struggle with eliminating drama in your life consider taking advantage of my FREE Coaching offer. There is no obligation after our time together. I am here to encourage and equip you with practical tools to help you love yourself and love your life.
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